When
the good Lord was creating fathers he started with a
tall frame. A female angel nearby said, "What kind
of father is that? If you're going to make children so
close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so
high? He won't be able to shoot a marble without
kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending or even
kiss a child without a lot of stooping."
And God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him
child-size, who would children have to look up to?"
And when God made a father's hands, they were large and
sinewy.
And the angel shook her head sadly and said, "Do
you know what you are doing? Large hands are clumsy.
They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber
bands on pony tails or even remove splinters caused by
baseball bats."
And God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large
enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his
pockets at the end of a day...yet small enough to cup a
child's face in his hands."
And then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders.
And the angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy this
is the end of the week, all right," she clucked.
"Do you realize you just made a father without a
lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him
without the kid falling between his legs?"
And God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A
father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a
boy on a bicycle or hold a sleepy head on the way home
from the circus."
God was in the middle of creating two of the largest
feet anyone had ever seen when the angel could contain
herself no longer. "That's not fair. Do you
honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of
bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk
through a small birthday party without crunching at
least three of the guests?"
And God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see.
They'll support a small child who wants to ride a horse
to Banbury Cross, scare off mice at the summer cabin and
display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."
God worked throughout the night, giving the father few
words, but a firm, authoritative voice; eyes that saw
everything, but remained calm and tolerant.
Finally, almost as an afterthought, he added ~ tears.
Then he turned to the angel and said, "Now are you
satisfied that he can love as much as a mother?"
The angel shuteth up...
Erma Bombeck
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